Well hello there, fellow DIY'ers! Won't it be a fine day when our dishwashers could clean themselves? As an experienced repairman with a decade of dishwasher anecdotes under his belt, yours truly is here to splash some cool water on that hot pipe dream. Roll up your sleeves, slap on your rubber gloves and let's get down to the spick-and-span details of dishwasher hygiene!

A Dishwasher's Cry for Help

If dishes are coming out with a leftover grimy gift from last night’s dinner, or your appliance smells more like a waste bin than a washing machine, it might be time to take a closer look. But how often should you be cleaning your dishwasher? Once a week? Once a month? Well, the answer boils down to "it depends.” Some bakers swear by a weekly dishwasher detox, while some models recommend a monthly cleanse.

Knowing When to Clean Your Dishwasher

But if your machine doesn’t provide a recommended cleaning schedule, start by paying attention to a couple of tell-tale signs:

• Bad odors: If there's a whiff of something fishy (perhaps literally) when you open your dishwasher door, it's crying out for a cleanse.

• Grease and food deposits: If these are starting to camp out in your dishwasher, it's high time you evicted them with a right good scrubbing.

Sounds like your dishwasher? Well, you might want to consider rolling up your sleeves and cleaning it every 1-2 weeks. If you’re lucky enough not to detect any unpleasant smells or debris, a monthly cleaning should suffice.

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness: How to Clean Your Dishwasher

Alright, loyal DIY'er. Before you sprint off to tackle your musty, rusty dishwasher with the spirit of a foot soldier wielding a pot scrubber, let's stick a game plan. Here’s how you can give your dishwasher a date with the detergent:

• Vinegar: Vinegar isn't just an excellent salad dressing ingredient; it also works miracles as a de-scaler. Empty your dishwasher, pour a cupful of white vinegar into a dishwasher-safe bowl, and run it for a cycle on a high temperature.

• Baking soda: After the vinegar soak, sprinkle a cupful of baking soda across the bottom of your dishwasher and run a short, hot water cycle. This will ward off any residual odors and give your dishwasher a dazzling polish.

• Manual scrubbing: Using a toothbrush, scrub the parts of your dishwasher that are still grimy. This includes the filter, where clogged up food and soap can build up over time.

A Final Stitch in the DIY Time

If all goes well, your dishwasher should now be gleaming like a new pin. Congrats, DIY'er, you've shown that grimy machine who's boss! Keep this up on a regular schedule, and you might just find yourself dubbing your dishwasher as ‘old reliable’ without a hint of irony.

Remember, regular maintenance is the backbone of an efficient dishwasher. Don't wait until things are dire to get your hands dirty. With a monthly—or fortnightly—clean, your dishwasher will keep those dishes spotless, and extend its lifespan for many years to come.

So, let's celebrate your newfound culinary hygiene with a dirty dish well done, enjoyed in the knowledge that your dishwasher is ready and raring to clean up after you. Keep scrubbing on, fellow DIY'er, and here’s to a future with sparkling clean dishes and an appliance that’s doing its job spectacularly!